Mother's Day can be a very difficult time for Mothers who have lost their child. Jane, our Bereavement and Counselling Services Manager, has some advice on how to support a bereaved Mum.  

1. Acknowledge their loss

Don’t avoid mentioning their child in front of them or skirt around what happened. Whilst they may not be talking about their child, they will be thinking about them.  

2. Let them know you’re thinking about them and their child 

Sharing memories of their child and using their child's name can be a lovely way to celebrate mother's day. Even if they have no living children they will always be a parent and a mother and acknowledging this can be helpful.  

3. Don’t Say “Everything Will Be Okay"

Whilst it's tempting to give this kind of reassurance it can be quite unhelpful and insensitive. Explaining someone's loss to them instead of listening to their feelings is not a good way to support them.  Try to avoid saying things such as your child’s in a better place,”  or “at least you have/will have other children.”  

4. Be Yourself

Don't change who you are with them. If they've lost a child then feeling like they've lost their friend by you changing your behaviour will only add to their feelings of loneliness and loss.  

5. Offer continued support 

Grief is a different path for everyone and whilst things may appear to be okay they may not be. Even if they have refused your offers of support before make sure you do keep offering.  

 

If the person has been, or still is being, supported by our bereavement team they can always get in touch for additional support.    

Helpful books to support children who are grieving

How to support a child who has lost their mum

The importance of bereavement support

Useful Services and information:  

Care for the Family have produced this helpful do's and don'ts sheet to help support bereaved families: www.careforthefamily.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/how-you-can-help-bereaved-parents-new-2013.pdf 

Cruse Bereavement 

Cruse can offer support to anyone who has been bereaved. They have a wealth of information on their website and also offer a support helpline and support email service.  

www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help