Jane, our Counselling and Bereavement Services Manager, shares some common myths about grief.

“For everyone experiencing loss – no matter if you’re a close family member, friend or carer- grief can become a difficult burden to bear.  Knowing how you’re feeling is perfectly normal can bring some much needed comfort at a dark time. 

Myth: If you are emotional you are weak

Feeling sad, frightened, lonely, or crying are normal responses to loss, not a sign of weakness. Showing your honest feelings can help you and others accept your grief appropriately and realistically, opening the door to true healing.

Myth: If you don’t cry you are cold and unfeeling

Crying is both normal and appropriate at a time of grief or loss, but it is not the only acceptable response. There are many ways to express these feelings of pain and loss. You shouldn’t feel guilt over crying or that you haven’t cried ‘enough’, everyone grieves differently and that includes crying.

Myth: You should grieve for a full year

It may be that your grief lasts for a year, as you experience all the seasons and anniversaries associated with your lost loved one. However, there is no set time frame for this process. Grief is personal and manageable, varying in time and intensity from person to person. The pain of grief may surface in waves: bearable for long periods then suddenly overwhelming when exposed to an emotional trigger. Knowing this can be of comfort when you are surprised by an intense feeling of pain or loss.

Myth: Ignore it and move on – that pain will eventually go away

While this stoic approach has been popular in the past when support for grief was unavailable, today we know that trying to ignore or suppress your pain makes it worse and last longer. To heal from your loss and ultimately put it to rest, it is critical to face your grief. This is best done with an experienced professional in the area of grief and healing.

Further Information

During a lengthy illness, following the funeral, or sometimes long after the death of a loved one grief may become more than you are able or willing to handle. There are services and support which can help you through this time.

Anyone whose loved one was cared for by the Martlets is very welcome to make contact with our Bereavement Service by calling 01273 273400 or emailing [email protected]

Useful Services and information:  

Cruse Bereavement Service 

Cruse offer a bereavement helpline to give support as you need it in addition to their website where you can also find resources on how to support your child.  

www.cruse.org.uk/Children/loss-from-childs-perspective

0808 808 1677

Winston's Wish  

Winston's Wish has a wealth of resources and advice on how to support your child through bereavement, whilst also dealing with your own grief. They also have a free phone helpline you can call.

www.winstonswish.org.uk/

08088 020 021

Childhood Bereavement UK 

Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement.

http://childbereavementuk.org

0800 02 888 40